Fellowship or Fortresses?

I've been thinking recently about fellowship, and what real fellowship is. I've been thinking this lately because it seems that I haven't been getting very much of it, yet I am around Christians all the time! It's frustrating. Being at a Bible college and getting little fellowship seems messed up to me. So my first question is... what is not fellowship? I will list a few:

1. Asking how someone is only expecting a shallow answer. like "Good."
2. Getting asked how you are and only giving a shallow answer. like "Good."
3. Hanging out with Christian friends but never talking about each other's spiritual lives, Jesus, the Bible, or things of that sort.
4. Hanging out with Christian friends, talking about your spiritual life, but then not seeking to heal, be healed, or grow.
5. Going to a Bible study but thinking about the Bible as strictly an academic book and never applying it to your life.
6. Etc. (I say "Etc." because there are definitely more examples. Hopefully you can think of them when you know what real fellowship is)

This is the kind of thing I see at my school. A lack of digging deeper into people. A lack of suffering with people. A lack of talking about the implications of the cross, today, right now, in our lives. Rather I'm stuck with this shallow attempt to make sure that we are all OK, and then moving this counterfeit status qua on into infinity.

I feel as though instead of seeking to have good fellowship, we are seeking to build a fortress with walls too high and too thick to let anyone see our problems. Instead of fellowship happening, Bible studies and the like become filled with walking, talking fortresses; always checking their perimeter. No one can penetrate their walls, and they are unwilling to let anyone through the gate.

What is true fellowship? Here's what the Holman Bible Dictionary says:

"A bond of common purpose and devotion that binds Christians to one another and to Christ." (Holman 562)

Consider what Ephesians 4:1-16. To summarize; we are called to use these fruits (v. 2) for the purpose of unity (verse 3) in the one body, one Spirit, and one hope (v.4) in one Lord, faith, and baptism (v. 5). Each member of the body is given a gift for the body (v. 11-12) for the purpose of becoming mature (v. 13) so that we will no longer be immature, tossed to and fro by every wave of false doctrine (v. 14). But we must speak the truth in love, and grow up in Christ (v. 15) in order that the whole body, even every joint, may be unified and working properly (v. 16).

Building each other up in love. Being transparent so that we can actually heal each other. James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed..." And being there for one another.

My friend Ryan calls this "doing life" with each other. Not simply seeing each other every so often and talking about homework. But being intentional about asking how people are, and trying to help them. And on the other side of that, being willing to be honest, humble, and wanting to be healed in Christ.

This is fellowship.